Of all the judgments you make about life, none is as important as the one you make about yourself.
Working on low self-esteem is a process, particularly when it arises through long-standing beliefs we hold about ourselves, but with patience and the right tools it is possible to start to ‘reframe’ and change some of those beliefs so that we become much more positive in the way we value who we are at a core level.
What might low self-esteem look like?
People often seek therapy for a particular reason, only for it to emerge later on that the underlying issue is rooted in low-self-esteem.
Low self-esteem can feel like that nagging voice in the back of the mind saying you didn’t quite make it, that others will judge the real you or that you don’t quite deserve the happiness you seek.
At a fundamental level, there is always a feeling of just not being good enough. It can show up in your relationships, in your workplace, with your children, effects your overall sense of well-being and impacts on virtually every aspect of your life.
You might recognise some of these familiar traits of low self-esteem
- Often doubt your own judgement,
- Excessive will to please others
- Find yourself in unequal and unsatisfying relationships
- Lack trust in yourself to solve problems and initiate change
- Judge yourself to be inferior to your peers
- Minimize your positive qualities
- Negative feelings- constant self-criticisms can lead to persistent feelings of anxiety, anger, shame or guilt
- Fear of trying– avoid challenges and new beginnings
- Fear of judgement
- Lack of self-care (caring so little that it leads to neglect)
- Self-harming behaviours- (increased risk of addiction, suicide,)
Often issues such as feeling anxious or depressed, struggling with addictions or being in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, can be rooted in low self-esteem.
What causes low self-esteem?
It is important to note that self-esteem is not fixed and that it can fluctuate, so you can certainly improve your self-esteem. Knowing what is contributing to it, allows us to start to ‘un-pick’ the origins and from there working on repairing and rebuilding so that you can begin to appreciate, love and value who you are.
Some indictors that we may become more susceptible to low self-esteem are:
- Negative early life experiences
- Unsupportive parents or others that play an influential role in life
- Stressful events such as divorce or bereavements
- Trauma or abuse
- Poor performance at school or unrealistic goals
- Mood disorders such as depression
- Losing a job
- Bullying in childhood or workplace
One of the most rewarding parts of therapy for me, is helping you to strengthen and improve your self-esteem. It is no coincidence that when you begin to value who you are at a fundamental level, you can take your life in a new direction based on choices that truly resonate with all that you can be.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
If you would like to work with me on improving your self-esteem and confidence using specific approaches tailored to your needs click on the link below